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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?